Blinded

People are not blind, 

nor are they deaf. 

They can see and listen clearly.

Still, people do nothing about it. 

Why?

Because people are scared.

They feed the fear,

They feed the monster,

Inside us.

Fear is the greatest enemy.

My personal experience was just happened yesterday.

Yesterday was my last Human Rights class.

I had my presentation with a friend.

I had my own agenda on the presentation.

That agenda was to encourage my friends,

To become anti-war, just like me.

My presentation topic was related to technology.

To realize my agenda, I want to show a video.

Using a video is like hitting two birds with one rock. 

It is not only showing the benefit of technology,

but also showing the horror of war.

However, he refused me to show my video.

He said my video was too strong.

I didn’t understand what he meant by strong.

But I knew that he was afraid.

He was afraid of facing the reality.

He was drowned by his own perception.

We had a little argument because of that.

I told him this is the time to expose the truth.

He still refused me.

Because I am not a little bitch, 

I found my own way by asking Prof. Ibrahim.

She encouraged me to show the video.

During my presentation, 

I realized he treated me unfairly.

I was disappointed by his behaviour.

I knew his agenda,

He wanted to prevent me from showing my video to my classmates.

In the end, he tried to finish our presentation, 

By closing the presentation without even giving me any chance to speak.

However, little did he realized I am not a little bitch that can be controlled easily.

After closing the presentation, I quickly stop them.

I asked their attention just for a minute.

He told my classmates,

"I already told her not to show the video"

I didn't listen to him and keep on doing my thing.

I turned on my video and let them watched.

After only a minute, everyone was crying.

I didn't have any intention to stop the video, 

So they can watch towards the end.

However, He turned off the video immediately.

Then, after turning on the light.

I had to stop everyone from giving out opinion.

On that situation, I have had enough.

I don't care about opinion anymore.

What I really wanted was my classmates to understand.

When I was speaking in front of them,

Tears started coming out of my eyes.

I did not even know why I cried,

Yet the tears keep coming out.

As I keep talking,

I became more emotional.

I cannot even recall what I was saying yesterday.

The only thing I remember was,

I called on them because they forget the war.

A friend had to come to the front to give me a hug.

I could not stop crying.

Because of my emotion, words keep coming out from my heart.

In the end, I finished it by saying sorry.

I said sorry because I couldn't talk properly.

To say the truth,

Although I had so many things to say.

In the end, 

after my presentation,

I realized some of my friend thanked me.

I did not even know why.

What I did was only showing them the truth.

But maybe that is the most important part.

To be brave to show the truth.

Personally, 

I felt bad for my friend.

Not because of the fighting.

But because he was afraid.

He didn't brave enough to face the truth.

I pitied him the most,

He was drowned by his fearness.

Where in common sense,

He was afraid to break the rules.

He was not the only person in the world, 

who is afraid.

In fact, people are actually afraid.

People are afraid of breaking the rules.

Their fear are fed by the established society.

My message is only one thing,

Be fearless.

To be honest,

I cannot be controlled,

Say it stubborn, obstinate, or selfish,

I just can never be controlled.

If I consider it wrong,

No matter how hard you covered,

I called it out wrong.

You cannot stop me,

No one can stop me,

Except God.

It is actually really sad,

To see my classmates.

We are all still young,

But hardly they care about humanity.

No matter what ideology we belong,

We are all human.

Humanity should be always in your side.

I never want to be part of the establishment.

I lived in my own way.

I don't do what I don't want to do.

December 16th, 2017