How to keep gratefullness in mind

Don't ever judge people based on appearance
You never know what they have been through

First of all, those who are in poverty are more likely to feel appreciative than those who are wealthy. For instance, when you give money to the needy, even with a modest amount, they often 'thank God' for the donation.

I remember having similar experience when dining by myself in a little eatery close to my home. I entered this location and sat down in front of an extremely old man who appeared to be in his 80s and had been keeping an eye on my movements ever before. Actually, I had seen him here a couple of times before, so it wasn't the first time we had run into each other. But there was always a wheelchair in front of the restaurant, so I reasoned that it must be his since he frequented this location. So I tried to break the silence by asking him where he lives as some diners departed the establishment and left us both alone.

Unexpectedly, he was very friendly to me and at first I did not expect that he was speak very clearly due to his appearances that made me think he was not able to speak clearly. I was very surprised and pitied him because of his story that he had told me. He said that he has never been married and he lived alone in his place. But the most important thing that surprised me was that he can speak English, Dutch, and even Japanese. He even asked me what ‘UNESCO’ stands for, so I thought to myself I should not judge people based on appearances in the first place. After that, he told me that he is a retired language teacher. 

Evenly, he told me that he has lived too long since he was born in 1930 which means he is 86 years old now. Currently, he spends his time making rosary which is prayer beads in Christian. Peculiarly, he is a devoted Roman Catholic stating that when he was a child, he wanted to be a pastor.

After having general conversation with him, He also said that his leg is hurt and cannot walk properly because he once was hit while riding his bicycle by a college student in my university. Asking whether the hitter helped him through payment, he said that if the hitter paid his treatment, he would have been able to walk by now. Which is an undoubtedly hit and run. I was very ashamed on behalf of my university.

With this in mind, I insisted on him to accompanying him to his home. At first, he refused to my request saying that he can walk alone and his home is too poor and ugly to even worth seeing, after hearing that statement, I was even strongly insisted on him and as a result he let me to help him. So, after paying our food, I was going to help him to seat in the wheel chair, but the funny thing was that he does not use wheelchair as seated wheelchair but rather use it as a walking chair. As a result, I could only help him with holding his hands.

Personally, it is really hard for me to see such old people with no children living alone without any help except from his neighbors. So, actually, from the first time I walk with him until arriving in his home, I was holding my tears because it was just really hard for me to witness his struggle because he can barely walk. After entering his home, he said that he was sorry because he is so poor that he could not impress me. I was very emotional when he said that but still I could not let him see my tears so I was still holding my tears.

In his house, we had an even more conversations about life. He is such a talkative person, because he told me many things like his youth and his religion which is a Christian. Throughout our conversation, I was still observing his house and I was surprised with one painting. This painting is depicting “Wayang” as a God (in Javanese) holding the world in his hand. So I asked him, whose painting it is. Unexpectedly, it was hand painted by him. From that point, I realized is also an artist. He has such a huge admired with Sultan of Yogyakarta and I could see it from a painting of Sultan Yogyakarta and it was hand painted by him as well.

Having conversation with him was one of the greatest experiences I have ever had. For the most part, it was his teaching of ‘Honesty’ that I was very grateful and I could not expect any better from him. He always reminded me that helping others and being kind to each other is the most important thing of being a human regardless of what religion we are on. Furthermore, he also talked about compassion toward other people is the very good deed that every human should have in their life. Speaking about conversation, I was still holding my tears, and inside my mind I thought to myself, 

“He is very poor, but he has an extremely big heart”.

Truthfully, the most important part of me telling this story is about gratefulness in particular “his gratefulness”. We were talking about his life until we reached the point about his family, so he told me that 3 days ago, his sister has passed away. I was very sorry to him because he said that his sister is the only person that really cared about him. I tried to be tough again while still holding my tears.

But the saddest thing he said was not about his sister passed away, but he told me that there is a reason for everything. He said that God helped him through me. In this perception, he told me that he was very grateful that I wanted to accompany him even visited his place, exceeding that he felt grateful because I consider him a human due to his poorness. When I heard him saying that, my heart was very broken because in some parts of the world, some teenager are mad with their parents because their parents would not buy their child the newest gadget while he was very grateful that I consider him a human. Can you imagine how tough the world to him?

But still, he always finds happiness in small things.

This distinction really broke my heart, after hearing his story, I excuse myself to go home because I could not hold my tears anymore. Before I go home, he even tried to find any food in his home to be given to me. Fortunately, I insisted not to give me anything because I promised him that I will visit him next time. So while walking home, I was crying I did not even know what to do. He has no wife, no children, no family that took care of him, he has nothing. I just, I was very sad to even think about him. So I thought to myself again, this kind of people is very grateful when you don’t have anything to give besides time and compassion.

“The smallest act of kindness is worth more 

than the grandest intention.” 

Oscar Wilde